Everything we do has a "why" behind it. I mean, the "why" for most of the tasks could be "because I have to." But, what I mean is, we all have a back story to the way we tick, the boundaries that are set, and what we invest in. If you choose to start your day with yoga, drink your favourite coffee, meet a certain friend at lunch, or set the same routine in the day - Why do you do that? Because it most likely brings you life. You feel good.
I would love to dive a little deeper into my "why" behind running. Why would I choose to push myself in that way? My why goes way back to growing up as a little girl. Believe it or not, I was very shy. I grew up with some pretty loud insecurities that paved the road for a rough adolescent experience. I don't ever remember a time where I felt confident in myself. When you lack confidence, it is extremely hard to push yourself. Maybe I am the only one who feels that... But, the heaviness of those insecurities caused a ton of laziness.
Because of those insecurities, I got myself in some pretty harmful relational situations that tore down my self-worth even more. It's a viscous cycle eh? Insecurity lead to unhealthy relationships, which lead to deeper insecurity. I remember the day where I was pretty fed up with feeling that way, and chose to face those insecurities head on. Sometimes it takes getting angry about something to really make a change. I was done feeling this way.
Starting out as a runner, I still had some pretty big insecurities when it came to my abilities. I would reach out to the leader of the group often and say "but, do you think I can do that run?" Of course the answer was always "yep, you will be fine." Did I believe them? Most of the time, no. But, I jumped in and the worst that would happen is I don't go as far as I hope. At least I tried. Every run that I showed up to with a head full of insecurities, I would end with one less clouding my confidence. I could feel the insecurities disappearing. The first step was showing up and trying anyway.
My "why" truly comes down to the fact that I love to see what I can accomplish, and tearing down the insecurities daily. I have dealt with some pretty massive struggles in my life thus far, as a 24 year old. But, if you let the hurt fuel the fire of your passion/drive... WOW. I run today because I love to connect my emotional strength to my physical strength. I will continue to run because I want to see how far I can push myself, and where my drive will take me. And I also just love it.
Take-away:
1. Your "why" helps you show up. Find your "why."
2. Choose to let your hurt fuel your drive.
