“Vulnerability is not weakness. I define vulnerability as emotional risk, exposure, uncertainty. It fuels our daily lives.” - Brene Brown
A friend of mine started joining my morning hikes, and I quickly learned her and I share the same passion of allowing space for emotional openness, growth, and vulnerability. Our conversations often "trail" (very punny) into the deep gratitude we feel when someone shows us a piece of their heart and how they are feeling. And even further than that, the exposure of that emotion can bring freedom, and make a pocket of room for the heart to expand and grow. So, I thought her and I would join forces and do a combined blog post sharing our thoughts on the strength that is formed in people through authentic vulnerability. Let this be a picture to you... that we truly are all in this together, and your emotions are not a failure/weakness but can be used as a tool.
Co-Writer: Meg Elizabeth
"When I was a small child, I was petrified of the wind. The Wizard of Oz was my favourite movie, so, naturally, if Dorothy could blow away, so could I. Fear defined my entire being. I was afraid of everything, and I felt everything so very deeply, and I hated it. I was convinced my fear, and vulnerability made me weak.
As a teen, I decided I would no longer be the sensitive, afraid little girl. I made it my mission to be fearless. I travelled alone as a teen, lived in West Africa alone as a young adult, and played the roughest sport I could think of (rugby). I felt invincible. With this invincibility came many walls- no one could harm me- emotionally or physically, and I decided I would never be vulnerable again..Until I had three concurrent hits to the head as a university rugby player and my rugby world, university life, physical activity, identity, and everything I had known changed.
Vulnerability hit me square on (literally). I was afraid, I was scared, and I was afraid of being scared. My world as I knew it fell in on itself. How could I be this fearless, tough, invincible person if I was actually hurt, afraid, and vulnerable? Who was I if I wasn’t this fearless rugby player? If I wasn’t her, then I had to be this petrified little girl again. I knew no in between.
This, my friends, is when I had to reconcile these two parts of myself. What if I was scared, sensitive, deeply vulnerable, and kind of cheesy, yet also this incredibly strong, resilient, and fearless human? What if I had been both all along, but I just kept all of these authentic parts of myself hidden, instead? What if being vulnerable actually was one of my strengths?
This duality allows us to be “both and”. You may be afraid, and someone who feels it all, but you are also someone who is strong, resilient, and fearless, too. The more we can be both vulnerable and strong, afraid and courageous, sensitive and resilient, the more authentic we can be in our own lives. When we’re real about this duality (like me just sharing with the internet my childhood fear of THE WIND, for example) we give people the permission, and the opportunity to also show up, just as they are, and that is so very powerful.
We need more vulnerability, and authenticity, now more than ever. It’s your strength, and it makes you, you. Stay vulnerable, friends. If you’re like Dorothy, it just might take you home, where you belong."
Knowing yourself well enough to be able to pin point how you are feeling, and communicate that... is one of the most honourable traits. I know we aren't all wired the same, and we weren't all raised in the same house-hold with the room to express these aspects of ourselves. But, watch what can happen in your relationships when you give the space for that emotional connection. The strongest relationships that both of us have in our lives grew from honest conversations, tears, and laughter.
Heres to you, and the strength you already hold that you may not even see yet.