As I sit here, 5 days out from when I started my 110k race... I still have brain fog, but it has lifted enough for me to write out my thoughts. I don't want to loose the emotions, and stories, that I have from this wonderfully hard experience... So, here we go! I won't lie, I am definitely already tearing up while writing this, because this race meant more to me than most of you reading this may realize. But first, let's start from the beginning.
Last July, I ran my first ultra (50k Fundy Circuit), and when I reached the end of the loop, my mother looked at me and said "so, you're going to run 100k right?" The confidence she had in that statement caused me to answer with no hesitation. "Yep, I will!" That's where I knew I was hooked on the ultra-marathon experience. The grit, the endurance, the people, the stories, the ups, and the downs. It's all tied together for a LONG day/or days, with an insane amount of eating, and cider/beer, after. I am all about the adventure of it all.
So, here we are on June 18, as I was approaching the start line with the other runners... I was thinking back to the months of long training I had put in, and the hip flexor injury I had nursed just 3 weeks before this day. There were a few moments, and tears, just a few weeks ago where I was not sure if I would be able to toe the start line, but I was determined to nurse that injury until I was able to run. I see the gantry in front of me, and I am surrounded by 40 or so people that I do not know yet, but I also know we are about to get real close on trail. I wondered who I would connect with, and what friendships would come of the next 20 hours. The countdown started and we were off... the first few steps. I strangely wasn't nervous, mostly because I knew I had one of my best friends, Felice crewing me, alongside my parents, and the other SJTR members to cheer me on. There is power in a strong crew presence. I don't think they realized how much I looked forward to seeing their faces at every aid station.
I work best when I break up the distance in my mind so it doesn't seem as daunting. So, here I am thinking of the first 20k of the 110k. I knew the first 20k was 1/3 of the elevation (out of aprox 3200m) so I was in for a climb. What I did not realize is how much that truly is in a short period of time. We went up, and we kept going up. I knew I was in for a hard day/night in that moment. With the 90% humidity, I was on a mission to keep fuelling properly. This race is an out and back, so I knew I was in for a HARD final 20k.
As aid stations kept passing by, and I slowly saw my people.... I felt I was getting into a groove... 20k done, 35k done, etc... What I have failed to explain is how MUDDY these trails were. I would say out of my 110k... 60k of them were either slick mud, or knee deep mud. So, I was at about 45k, and I was by myself, trying to climb up a hill but kept sliding back down. I knew I was getting close to halfway but not quite there yet. I had not fuelled correctly at my last aid station, I was hitting a major wall, and my legs were starting to ache. This was the hardest 10k of the race for me. I slugged into half way and immediately started crying when I saw my best friend, Felice. She said "what do you need?" and my response was "Aleve and some grilled cheese.." The essentials really, right? I sat down, felt all the feels, took pain meds, got my head lamp ready, ate a few grilled cheese, and got ready to get out the door. As I start to leave, I notice that 3 of the other runners in the room have decided not to continue in that race. This made the next 54k even more daunting, but I knew myself, and all I had to do was start heading in that direction and I knew I would be fine. "Don't think, just move."
At this point, there was a guy who had been running with me for chunks of the race, but we hadn't communicated much. His name is Eric. As we are walking down to the beach to turn around and start our 54km back... we looked at each other and I said "do you want to finish this thing together?" and from that moment both of our anxieties were gone. That was what both of us needed. We spent the next 54km in a few rain storms, sliding down many MANY hills, shuffling, power hiking, laughing, and supporting one another. This is a huge reason why I love the ultra/trail running world. Did I know Eric before Saturday? Nope. Are we friends now? Yes.
As we approached the 98k aid station... we both couldn't thank each other enough for the partnership we had in this experience. My crew became his crew, and we were being cheered on together. What a community this is. We are now 19 hours in, and I know we have 11k of tough climbing/painful downs (ouch quads). After 98k, 11k does not seem like much... but, those 11k were LONG, and every time we hit another up, it felt like I was giving everything left in my legs and arms to get to that finish. I don't know if its stubbornness or strength, but I'll take it. :)
I turned the corner on my last hill, and I could see my amazing crew standing at the top of the stairs off the beach, and I knew after that beach was the finish line. I was only 1k away? What? At this point, I didn't even have any recollection of time anyways, I was zoned in on getting it done. I remember saying to myself "Sarah you did it. You did this for you." And the tears started to well up. As I approached 500m from the start line, I was handed my trail dog, who ran into the finish with me. That moment in itself meant the world to me. That special dog has seen me in my worst and my best, and has been my best friend.
21 hours. I started at 8 am Saturday morning, and ended on Sunday at 5 am. 21 hours of pep-talks, MUD, adventure, support, and friendship. I know it is hard to truly understand the experience unless you are there on trail with me, but I hope you see the raw emotion behind last weekend. Why does this 110k mean so much to me? I have spent a majority of my life piggybacking, or latching onto other peoples goals or dreams. It felt extremely weird/stretching to go into a race with just 12 other women, and knowing I wouldn't necessarily be running with anyone I know. I had put in long days solo back home in NB, and I had put in a ton of work on my own to prepare myself mentally for this moment. This accomplishment was just for me, and I was the one who got myself there. I was so proud of my determination, and grit that revealed itself on that day. I had to dig deep, and I see beauty in that. I have said this before, but I truly believe the way we preform in our goals/trail world, can 100% be translated into our own day-to-day lives. I truly ended feeling like I have the strength both mentally and physically to handle anything that I am thrown.
Yes, this was a hard experience, and yes I will do it again. :)
